Mudder’s Milk: Part the First

180px-Jaynes_hatA little background about the series of posts I’m going to be doing on this topic.  While this is a drink creation it isn’t the kind of thing one might normally find in a bar or even in a restaurant I’m hoping it will eventually be something unique and tasty.

For starters those who don’t know what Mudder’s Milk references need to go out and buy a copy of the firefly box set.  The show is 10 years old, only had half a season and it still blows the doors off of most stuff on TV today.

The crew lands on a moon where the primary export is mud used to make ceramics and most of the inhabitants are indentured servants, basically slaves.  The bar in the worker village serves a (presumably) disgusting “beer” called Mudder’s Milk.  As Jayne describes it “All the protein, vitamins and carbs of your grandma’s best turkey dinner, plus fifteen percent alcohol.”

They go on to describe it as liquid bread used to keep the workers healthy and knock them out to prevent revolt.

I had the good fortune to meet a woman who spent time with one of the local pirate groups.  There are apparently several, and similar to the SCA they do a bit of period recreation and more than a bit of camping, hanging out and drinking.  She served as both ships cook and alchemist, meaning that she made up the menus and bought all of the alcohol for their little crew.  We traded ideas back and forth about mixed drinks, alcohol quality, camping equipment and ease of transport.  After a few drinks and quite a bit of conversation the question became if anyone had developed a drinkable version of Mudder’s Milk or if someone had made a cocktail of the same name.

Casual research didn’t turn up much:
Item 1 was an attempt to do justice to the quote mechanically, but a combination of cider, Guinness, milk, rye and vodka not to mention the whey powder and multi-vitamins was beyond gross sounding.

Item 2 Similar idea but easier execution.  Still, soy milk and brewers yeast are not in my list of best drink ingredients.  Nor is the combination of soy and grain alcohol really much of a crowd pleaser.

Item 3 Actually comes from a reference to the same drink as an item in World of Warcarft.  I was more pleased with the results here but it’s really just a white Russian with milk and bailey’s.   Nothing original here.

Item 4 Is actually a site for home brewers giving options for making your own beer.  I’m not much of a beer drinker, or any kind of brewer so I can’t say much about these except that the highest one caps out just above 10% ABV which isn’t anything like the 15% claimed in the show.

So lacking anything unique, tasty, complete or appropriate it behooved me as a budding bartender to correct this mistake and make something both good to drink and in keeping with as much of the quote as I felt necessary.

3 thoughts on “Mudder’s Milk: Part the First

  1. So to be fair the description of Mudders Milk in the show is that its disgusting, so many of the recipies you will find are also probably kind of gross:

    WASH gags, spits out what he’s just drunk.

    WASH (Chinese) [zhe shi she me lan dong xi? – “What kind of rotten food is this”?]

    JAYNE Mm-hmm. They call it “Mudder’s milk.” (WASH gags) All the protein, vitamins, and carbs of your grandma’s best turkey dinner, plus 15% alcohol.

    WASH It’s horrific.

    SIMON Well, it worked for the Egyptians.

    That being said if your looking for something good I hunted around and found these 2 as options:

    So one example I found is a more shot like theme:
    The recipe is: 1 part coffee liqueur (Kahlua), 1 part irish creme (Bailey’s), 1 part vodka (Smirnoff triple distilled) and 2 parts milk.
    Its not really the drink, but it would have a blend of flavors that would seem appropriate.
    Its #5. Youd have to add the alcohol, but it would be about right..and for recommend liquors and creams.

    More the feeling, but not a replica.

    Those are the examples I found that werent totally vile.

    1. Actually your first example is one of the items already listed from the world of warcraft reference, that’s the white russian/irish cream variation.

      As for the second link I refer back to my Guinness and multi-vitamin link as more evidence of people trying to hard to get it exact rather than reasonable and unique.

      The third sounds more like an irish carbomb milkshake.

      1. Yeah I follow you, I just wasnt sure if youd found the same ones (Since I found some like what you described before that looked honestly terrible), and actually the Tiger Bar one actually might be decently drinkable.

        The next closest thing that comes to mind is something I used to see at SCA events in the morning as a hangover cure. Which I believe is actually called Mothers Milk, and is a very old recipie.

        Its a stone ground oatmeal with cooked milk and honey, then after cooking add milk, cream, Irish Cream, vodka, and Barenjager.

        Its got the carbs and a decent amount of vitamins..but obviously not much in the lue of protiens. It might be a recipie you coud evolve from though.

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